So its been forever… Maybe 6 months =/
Trying to maintain but I’m strugglein’…
However the struggle is one i almost enjoy to endure.
I recently stared work, My boyfriend VICTOR and I have been together for 6 months, and I’m out of high school… though i have alot of regrets about the past 6 months; I wouldn’t change a thing. Getting a job wasn’t easy >_< mainly because i was so lazy and i just wasn’t putting myself out there… and really that is the most important thing. if you want something you have to put yourself out there. no one is going to know you want to be a painter if you never pick up a paint brush or show anyone your work… you got to put yourself in that somewhat humiliating position where you are almost completely ignorant to a situation sometimes.
That would definitely be my case >_< ignorant… I had no idea about what it was like to have a job or even what it was like to search for one… and then once i got the job i felt even more ignorant. Ive had to do alot of hard work and learning. even some soul searching…
So the soul searching was a little different…
What do i believe in?
Why is it all contradicting itself?
Is there a good and evil?
Am I In CONTROL?
I didnt answer all of them but i did discover that maybe there isnt supose to be an answer and if for a short time your mind and heart tell you something other then what you’ve been taught you should follow that… as long as its reasonable….
Me and Victor ^_^ Right now we are pretty good! I worry alot… and im scared of things happenng cause of past conflicts and such but I know we love eachother and its goona be just fine… ill explain in more detail later 
i a new post…
well for now im just chillin and figureing life as an adult out 
I hope whoever reads this is having an awesome day ^_^
<3 The Laughing Man, Kusanagi
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